To let go.

At some point in the past year my passions have dwindled. The mundane of life began to overcome. God has been teaching me much on SMT and to think we are only going into week four today boggles my mind. There was a point this past week at Camp Morrow where God just broke my heart and opened my eyes! 

Okay let me back up to update ya'll. Week two of SMT was at Canyonview! Challenges arose left and right. Now please do not take the word challenge as a negative thing because if you do you've got it all wrong. This was a crucial and stretching week. Yes, there were times I can personally say I wanted to give up but I never did. God kept encouraging me and drawing me closer to Him. God allowed a couple of neat things to occur during the week. One kid made the choice to follow Jesus! Can I hear a "Praise Jesus!!!" :) Whoop! I mean at the end of the day this is what it is all about young people coming to know who Jesus is and laying down their lives to follow Him. Another exciting note is one of the gals in my cabin became very interested in Ecola! Week two of SMT God continued to show me His faithfulness and that there is no safer place to run than into His arms!

Week three we served alongside Camp Morrow. This was our first actual high school camp. I was beyond nervous and my insecurities were increasing. I couldn't help but wonder if the girls in my cabin would like me or not. What if I didn't connect with any of the campers throughout the week? Hah funny stuff. I am so silly and so often forget that...

This summer is NOT about me. 

Even if I made no connection with the girls in my cabin or at the camp in general, I must trust that God is connecting those girls with someone and that He is using me. Well this was not my story for the week. God broke down every wall. As each wall was destroyed, my heart couldn't withhold. I couldn't help but not love each of these high school gals. The conversations began to flow naturally. At this camp I felt the most like myself and it has been a long time since I have felt that way. My heart and passion for ministry and people grew in ways it hasn't for a long time. The gals who entrusted me with their stories have a very special place in my heart.

The days at some points may seem long but the weeks are flying. Yes, it has been difficult for me to meet a new group of girls each week only to say goodbye. My heart for discipleship is growing. God is showing me that through my weakness and insecurities He is much greater. I continue to entrust each girl to Him knowing He is with them. My prayer is that each of these girls can understand that no matter their past God loves them and that His arms are wide open waiting for them to run to Him. 

Please continue to be praying for my team and I.

My prayer throughout the summer is portrayed beautifully through the lyrics of Called Me Higher by All Sons and Daughters.

And I could hold on. 

I could hold on to who I am and never let 

You change me from the inside.

And I could be safe.

I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave 

home never let these walls down.

But You have me higher.

You have called me deeper and I'll go where 

You will lead me Lord.