I've been back in Montana for a couple of months now. And let me tell you it has taken me a couple of months to adjust. I'm still in progress. I'm thankful for a loving family who isn't giving up on me and I'm even more grateful for a heavenly Father who sees me through this transition. It's hard to adjust from a non-stop business lifestyle. I remember the days when I would long for alone time. Now it seems like I have endless amounts of alone time. It's not bad. I am learning to be thankful for a season of rest and stillness.
Yet, I still have my doubts.
A lot of things were presented to me. I think now looking back it frightened me how easy things were being handed to me. I believe that if I would have chose to accept any of the offers presented to me they would have been good and I am sure God would have taught me a lot through them. But those situations are not my story for this season.
God knows me far greater than I could ever dare to imagine that I know myself. For this, I am forever grateful. I needed my Papa in Oregon and I need Him here as well.
I may seem like a mooching failure to many people.
BUT. My story with the Lord is my story. This is the adventure He and I are on. Yes, I may make unwise decisions here and there but that won't change His love for me nor does it give me a reason to abuse His grace either. He holds my future. He is with me on this adventure. Of course it wise to seek godly counsel. Heck we are flawed humans. We need to hear from those who have gone before us. Yet, we must remember to be still and hear the voice of our Papa.
So, in the midst of feeling crummy. I choose joy. I choose to accept this season of stillness. I choose Jesus. And He is good. There are simple reminders He has given me today –– a sweet phone call from past co-workers and a letter from a camper who I had the privilege of being her camp counselor this summer. God is allowing me to slow down reminding me He is the one in control.
I choose to TRUST Jesus.
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